Captured

Last night I played capture the flag with the kids and teens from the Rev Haiti home.  We ran around the house in the dark trying to discover the hidden flags and win the game.  Unfortunately my team wasn't very successful.  Little Jean Wilson, who was on my team, kept defecting to the other side and trying to put his own teammates in jail.  Since he's only three, I took this as a sign that he didn't quite understand the rules of the game.  A couple times it was down to just two of my teammates guarding our flag and everyone else in jail on the other side of the house.  I could hear them calling, "Miss Jessica!  We are in jail!  Help!"  At one point it was down to just Mislene and I and we made a plan to set the capture teammates free.  Our plans ended with me in jail and the other team capturing our flag.  It was a really fun night full of giggles and shouting and lots of silliness.  

When I came back to the school, I walked down the street in the dark, it was a rare experience walking the streets and not feeling like an oddity, like a stranger, like a "blanc" (white). I was just one in a number of people walking around the city after dark.  It was a kind of strange feeling to know that so much of what makes me feel like a foreigner can disappear when my skin isn't visible!

As I settled in for the night, I reflected on the fun of the game and the time I spent with the kids and their new director, Amber.  I thought about some conversations she and I have shared this summer and in past years since we met in 2012.  I thought about the challenges that they are facing and the complexity of life in Haiti, and especially the life of children in orphanages in Haiti.  I thought about how easy it is to love those kiddos.  I also thought about how sometimes in the loving, people have made the lives of these dear ones more complicated and inconsistent.  It is easy to draw a parallel between our little game and the ways that these children can capture your heart.  I'm reminded again for the need to be supporting Amber and her mission group as they transition into the responsibilities and privileges of running the home.  What a huge task they have on their hands!  

At one point in the game Jean Wilson put himself in our jail and called out for Miss Amber to come rescue him.  "I in jail, Amber!"  He shouted in his sweet Creole-accented English.  He hadn't been tagged and forced into the "enemy's" jail.  In fact he was sitting in his own jail, in his own free side of the game.  He had willingly put himself into the captivity.  I realize how much I'm like this.  Foolishly I say that I need to have life go a certain way or have certain capacities or confidences before I engage in relationships or care for others in ministry.  I want to be assured of success before I step out, and so I put myself into the jail of fear or insecutirty or pride and life passes me by.  Instead, the gospel of Jesus reminds us that we are free.  This passage underlines the beauty of freedom from our fears and pride and the privilege of being under the authority of our loving Savior.  May we all know more fully what it is to have a heart and mind that are held captive by the perfect grace and truth and love of Jesus!

... But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness... ~Romans 6

Many thanks for following along with my thoughts and reflections on life and ministry and the beautiful gift of relationship with these dear friends in Haiti!  Love in Christ, Jessie