Slip

I like to wander.  I like to run and walk and hike and explore long mountain paths and country roads.  I like going with friends or going alone.  It helps my mind to settle after a long day of work and in moments of stress, I find comfort in praying and crying out to God as I run along.  One of the challenges of being in the middle of a Haitian city is not having paths to wander along.  This city isn't an ideal place for running - the roads are rocky and uneven and full of roaming goats and stray dogs and mounds of garbage.  I've tried running with a crew of the older children from the home who are in need of training for their soccer team.  Aside from the physical obstacles, the experience usually ends with some awkward amounts of attention from the neighbors as we run by.  On more than one occasion random strangers would just start running with us - this crazy, frackled white lady and her teenaged friends... And so, to maintain my routine of wandering, I've taken to waking up early to run in circles around the school.  

I run up and down the stairs and around the corridors.  In the pre-dawn hours it is quiet and peaceful (with the exception of the mornings when I turn a corner to be greeted by a started roach or a grumpy rodent).  It's not like the joy of wandering along a path in the woods, but it's enough to just be able to place one foot in front of the other for a while.  I'm even greeted by the beauty of the sunrise over Port au Prince.

Some mornings after a hard rain, the cement floor will become slick.  My sneakers will slide a little with each step as I make circles around the school grounds.  Last night, during a particularly heavy rainstorm, the twin sons of Madame Jacqueline (the housekeeper/cook) were enjoying the rain by turning the corridors into their own slip-and-slide.  You can just make out Evenson and Gevenson's arms and legs sliding by, but this photo doesn't capture the giggles and shouts in the middle of the downpour!

As I've been making circles around the school in the early morning this week, I've been reflecting on footsteps and the paths we talk in this life of faith.  I've been thinking about all of the missteps that I am prone to take in life.  Times when I say hurtful things or fail to keep promises or refuse to follow the path God has laid out for me.  As my wayward heart and mind guide me, I recognize how easy it is for me to slide away from the path that God has set before me.  I feel like Paul, the steps I don't want to take are so often where my feet land, while the footsteps I want to take seem impossible to step into.

In class this week as Lourna (pictured above with her cup tower challenge) prayed to thank God for the breakfast meal, she made a comment that struck me.  "...And thank you for letting the foot of the cook to not slip when she carried the food to our classroom..."  It sounded a little funny to me.  In the middle of this very heartfelt prayer of this sweet 12 year old girl, my imagination grinned.  Lourna was demonstrating such a big understanding of the sovereignty of God.  In her mind, God was literally directing the footsteps of the cook as she carried the tray of breakfast food up the stairs and to our classroom.  And so, she thanked God for letting those feet to step safely and not slip. 

Oh that I could have this same understanding of the sovereignty of God!  That I would entrust every footstep, every decision, every fear, every joy, every hope, every desire, every disappointment, every opportunity, everything to the God who loves me and made me and saved me!

Tonight I'm meditating on how often God has not allowed my feet to slip, even when I'm wearing the shoes of doubt and fear and pride.  I'm praying for a heart that embraces the Word of God and feet that won't slip, but are firmly set in Him.

Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding...

My son, do not lose sight of these- keep sound wisdom and discretion, 

and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck.  

Then you will walk on your way securely, 

and your foot will not stumble. 

If you lie down, you will not be afraid; 

when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. 

Do not be afraid of sudden terror or of the ruin of the wicked, when it comes, 

for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.  

- Proverbs 3

Thank you for following along with me on this summer's journey in Haiti!  Much love in Christ, Jessie