Love

Every evening the children in the orphanage gather around and participate in a "family" devotion. Recently this has turned into a time of singing, which the children tend to really enjoy. Coming down the stairs to prepare for devotions tonight, I was greeted by Magdala calling out my name. She ran up as I walked down the stairs, wrapped her little arms around my neck and proclaimed, "I love you Jessica." With a tight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek, I replied, "I love you too, Magdala." It was one of those great "warm-fuzzy" moments that you keep in your heart. Holding tight to this sweet little orphaned child in the middle of the chaos of this life, I felt great peace and joy. 

As I reflect on this and other similar experiences here, I am beginning to wonder, what does this really mean when I say I love someone? Do I really know anything about what love is, or do I just simply say the words with little understanding of their depth? In all honesty, it really isn't hard to become attached to the children here at the orphanage. These children are all so eager for attention and care that they willingly jump into any arms that will welcome them. Spending time doing little activities with the kids- doing chores, singing songs, painting pictures, playing games, and reading books is one of the highlights of being here. But are these simple little things really a demonstration of love? 

This trip has made me question so much about myself and how I relate to the people that God puts in my path. I am keenly aware of my tendency to be guided by a fear of others rather than a love for them. It is so easy for me to disengage from community when I really should be running toward it. This true love I am thinking of becomes clear only when I look at the model of Christ. The love that Christ demonstrated on earth was more than just snuggling with an easily loveable, sleepy-eyed child. His love was self-sacrificing. His love was gracious. His love was just. His love was powerful. His love was honest. His love was patient. His love was forgiving. His love was perceptive. His love was welcoming. His love was candid. His love was genuine. His love was complete. His love was perfect. Now the question in my mind is how do I follow this example? 

In Haiti it is easier to let barriers fall down and form genuine relationships with others because many of the walls you hide behind are taken away. When you live without the comforts and space of life back home, you are forced to become more open and real with the people around you. Being in a culture that understands the value of each moment of life is an education beyond value. Learning from first-hand experiences of loss and devistation, I have seen how quick Haitian Christians are to make deep connections with those around them. There is no time for being worried about what others might think or fearing rejection, instead, I see countless examples of faithful people of Christ diving into the richness of loving Christian community. Their love for each other is not perfect, but it is striking because it is deep, real, and enduring. This model of love goes beyond the social niceties that I hold to back home, and digs deeply into the lives of their brothers and sisters in Christ. How this trip has made me long more deeply for this in my life, to be a follower of Christ who demonstrates His love to those around me. No longer hindered by the fears that so easily distracted me in the past, but clearly seeing the love of Christ and therefore being filled with this love for the community of His Church. My heart echoes the words of Paul to the Ephesians:

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. 
~Ephesians 3:14-19

Thank you for your love and support through this experience. I know God is using your prayers and words to work in my heart, and I pray as a result that this is helping to encourage the amazing teachers and children I am interacting with here in Haiti. Thank you again, Love in Christ, Jessie

Sing

One thing I've noticed about Port Au Prince is that no matter where you go (or even what time of night or day it is), there is always music playing. All different kinds of music is flowing around the city, making for an interesting kind of theme that plays across all of life. As you walk down the streets you hear sounds of contemporary music coming from radios in homes and shops. Many times the people you pass are singing or humming a melody to themselves, and there are churches meeting every day filling the air with their songs of worship. Music is such a unique way to express ourselves. Although I am not the most musically inclined person, I value the power of music to demonstrate the human spirit in a way that spoken words simply cannot. 

As a part of our daily meetings with the teachers, we begin with prayer and devotions. Recently we have also started the day with songs. It is such a joy to be able to join in with the beautiful and rich voices of these Haitian teachers. They have an amazing sense of harmony and rhythm that I don't think can be easily taught. Below is picture of a small group of the teachers singing a simple worship song with such heart and joy that it filled the room. I only wish I could share the great beauty that comes by being in the same place with them when their voices are united in worship. You can almost feel the love and faith they are pouring out through their song.

One of the teachers shared with us a common saying in Haiti, "When you sing, you are praying twice." We asked her to explain what exactly this meant, but she couldn't find the words to express it in English. To me, being able to join in with the body of Christ in song is a demonstration of the joy which brings us together as brothers and sisters in Christ. Even though we are separated by language, geography, and many cultural barriers, we are united in Christ. It has been a great honor to be able to learn more about these teachers and spend time working with them. I'm not sure how much I have been able to share regarding pedagogy and the science of education, but I know I have certainly been blessed by their amazing dedication to the children they teach. Even in the most trying of circumstances, they demonstrate confidence that the Lord will indeed see them through. Thank you again for joining along with me on this amazing journey, your words of encouragement and prayers mean more that I can say. Please keep this group of Haitian teachers in your thoughts and prayers as we work through plans to improve their working conditions and prepare for the upcoming school year. Their jobs are very trying and they need encouragement as they minister to these children! Love in Christ, Jessie

Justice

"We forgive, but God still believes in justice." During one particularly trying meeting with teachers this past week, one of the teachers spoke these words. She was teary eyed as she shared some of the injustices they had recently experienced in life. I talked with her after and told her how moving these words were to my heart, and how I respected her perspective on the trials of life. In Haiti there are many things which simply don't go the way you might expect they should. For example, earlier this week the teachers were talking with me about electricity. As I have shared before, it would be foolish to assume that you would have access to electricity if you traveled around Haiti. Even now, almost two and a half years after the earthquake, there are still many regions of the country that have yet to see power restored to their areas. If you do live in an area where there is city power, like Port Au Prince, there is no guarantee that the power will be on consistently. Even more frustrating is how the system of payment for electricity works. The honest way to get electricity is to purchase it from the city. If all goes well, you fill out the paperwork, pay your fee, and they provide electricity to your property. However, this is not always the case. Some of the teachers told me about their experiences in filling out paperwork and paying their fees, and many months later they are still without any power. However, they have neighbors who have illegally taken power from their neighbors, and paid them a fee instead of going through the proper channels with the city. This type of frustration with the system is common in Haiti. The teachers were actually full of humor and a degree of resignation as they shared this and other similar examples of the brokenness of the system. This is a simple example of the types of injustice that they deal with everyday. There are other, much more desperate problems in Haiti that make me cry out for justice. When we see the way that many children are living as "restaveks" (essentially a system of domestic slaves), it is difficult not to question God's dedication to justice. The poverty and hopelessness that fills the streets all around the country can make you question where God is and why He seems to be so slow to right the wrongs we perceive in this life. However, this frustration and confusion all stems from a tainted view of justice. My heart and mind crave immediate consequences for wrongdoers and for swift relief from the pain, suffering, and struggles of this life. I have been sharing these struggles with some of the other teachers visiting from the States, and during one of our group devotional times we read a passage from a book by John Piper where he speaks about God carrying our burden for justice. First, Piper directs the reader to 1 Peter 2:23, which speaking about Christ says, "And while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously." The only solution to the question of justice Piper says, is to follow the example of Jesus on earth. "Jesus handled the wrongs done to him by 'handing them over' to God who would judge all things justly. Leave it to Him. Prepare to be treated unjustly..." Although I think I will continue with this struggle to find a balance between forgiving wrongs in this life and seeking justice for the oppressed and mistreated, these dialogues are very helpful. Coming to Haiti pushes my heart to dig deeply into what I believe and reflect on the truths that I can easily hold at a distance when I am comfortable in my daily routines back home. Again, I am so thankful to be able to continue this dialogue with you and to share some of the experiences in Haiti! Love in Christ, Jessie 

 Because of a recent storm, we are without electricity and internet, so the posts will be few and far between, but I promise to write and post with pictures when I can!