Resources

I'm not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way I became one of those persnickety old people who tells children that they are not allowed to say "I can't."  At the beginning of each school year, I stand in the front of the classroom and write "I can't" on the board with an X on it, as if it is a street sign which will direct our way.  Of course, with some humor and a bit of sarcasm, my fifth graders usually respond with "Can we say, 'I can not'?"  "What about, 'I'm unable to...?'"  I generally respond to these questions with a grin and a "Good try..." and then ask the students to press forward with whatever challenge it is that we are facing.  

Somehow this can-do message hasn't made it from the silly stop sign on my classroom wall to my heart.  My walk of faith is full of "I can't"s.  Instead of the grittiness that I ask my students to show in the face of multiplying fractions or memorizing the states and capitals or dealing with disagreements with classmates at recess, my own heart looks at life and says, "I can't!"  

I determined recently that a great deal of my can't-do attitude stems from a belief that I don't have enough.  I know this person is isolated and walking through hard times, but I don't have enough patience to sort through the needs of that relationship.  I know that this ministry is in desperate need, but I don't have enough time to devote to another thing on the calendar.  I know that this group is in desperate physical need, but I don't really have enough money to spare.  I know that this situation is complicated and troubling, but I really don't have wisdom to speak into it.  I look at the circumstances around me, and even those uncertainties in my own life, and say that I lack the resources to respond faithfully.  Instead of recognizing the abundance that God pours out on His children, I tight-fistedly hold onto what I perceive is mine and refuse to be open-handed with these resources.

This mindset was highlighted this week as I worked with the secondary teachers.  We have a much smaller group of teachers and so we can focus on finding tools for each teacher's specific content area.  Yesterday I found myself sitting with three of the teachers looking for resources for them to use in the coming year.  The biology teacher and I were flipping through the pages of biology texts to find activities and hands-on experiences that he could integrate into his class in the coming year.  The Bible teacher was almost giddy as he scrolled through the articles, sermons and free online books available on the Desiring God website.  And the French literature and history teacher and I were busy digging through websites, looking for timelines and links to biographies of different French writers.  With each new resource the teachers responded with such thankfulness.  My own teacher-specific brand of nerdiness can completely relate to this enthusiasm.  I too love to develop curriculum and imagine how my students will benefit from the tools that I plan for them to use.  But the gratitude of these teachers was a testimony to their heart of thankfulness, and it reminded me of my own need to recognize the abundance with which I have been blessed.  And here I'm not thinking simply of access to physical resources.  It's more than that.  It's a recognition that in Christ we have all that we need.  

In our devotions this week we read again from The Prodigal God.  In the book there is a great section in which Tim Keller reminds us that whatever we are putting our hope in, whatever we are looking to for fulfillment and acceptance and love, if it's not God, then we will always be wandering.  We will always be searching.  Because it is God alone who can bear the weight of our souls.  It is for Him that we were created, and it is in Him alone that we find the abundance that stares down the heart of can't-do and says, in Him we are satisfied, in Him we have been blessed and therefore we can open-handedly bless. 

Thank you for following along, once again, with my ramblings.  I'm so thankful for the resources you have shared to make the time in Haiti possible.  The love and support and prayers and encouragement of my family and friends and church family are very tangible reminders of the abundance and resources that our God shares with us, His children.  Much love in Christ, Jessie 

Realm

If you were to draw a circle around your realm of influence, who would be inside of it?  My sphere would include my family and friends, my church community, my students, and the surrounding community where I work.  I've been thinking a lot lately about the circles in which I live.  I keep drawing these bubbles around groups and people.  In my mind I think about the blessing of these relationships and how thankful I am to have these cherished connections.  

The adventures of the past weekend have made me question how I view these realms.

On Saturday morning a few of the summer school teachers and I tagged along with a long-term missionary to visit a small community schooling program in Bon Repos, about a 30 minute drive outside of Port au Prince.  This informal schooling program was started in the yard of a relative of some of the former teachers at Christian Light School.  When we arrived, we parked the car and wandered through the little alleyways of the neighborhood.  The homes were modest, made from cement blocks and tin.  People were standing out in their yards and kindly smiled or nodded at us as we passed by.  

As soon as we walked through the gate of the home, we could hear the voices of children echoing their teacher.  Ms. Clotilde and her husband, Mr. Walner, who were both teachers at CLS a few years ago, are currently working as house parents at the children's home.  I have been very happy to become reacquainted with them this summer as they are both remarkable examples of faith and love in action.  They are also both very gifted educators.  They have started this schooling program to meet the needs of their community.  They looked around at their neighbors, at their circles, at their spheres of influence, and recognized a need.  Then they took action.  They invited the children from the neighborhood to come to do schooling with them in their yard.  They found missionaries who could sponsor the program so that they could feed about 60 children each week.  They take time to plan together and invite others to join in the planning.  When Clotilde invited me to come, she asked if I could plan a game for the children to play.  My students in New Hampshire would be happy to know that there are bunches of children in Haiti playing Wax Museum!  

The whole experience was overwhelming.  I was overwhelmed by the awareness of Clotilde and Walner, by their ability to look at their communities, their realms of influence, and recognize a need.  This vision sincerely humbles me.

This is a photo of Guetty and I having a little outing earlier this summer to the Apparent Project :)

Then on Sunday, my friend Ms. Guetty, who is currently working at the school as a volunteer coordinator, took us further out of the city to a neighborhood called Jerusalem.  This is a region that was basically uninhabited before the earthquake.  With all of the destruction in the city, many families were displaced and found land in Jerusalem was affordable, which lead to a very quick development of a small area of land.  The challenge with this kind of fast development, especially in Haiti, is that there was no infrastructure in Jerusalem to support the influx of people.  Schools, businesses, and even passable roads are gravely needed.  

After traveling for about an hour on public transportation (tap-tap) to Jeruslalem, Ms. Guetty took us to her home where we met her father, a kind and welcoming gentleman.  We walked together from their family home to the small school building that she and some of her friends have been using as an informal community school for children who can't afford schooling otherwise.  We were a bit late in arriving, so when we got there the children were all seated on the benches and awaiting us with curious smiles.  We spent the afternoon together singing and telling Bible stories and doing crafts and playing games in Creole.  It was such a blessing to see Ms. Guetty and her friends and family reaching out to their small community to bring hope and opportunities to these children.  

These experiences make me think about the needs that may be right around me that I never recognize or that I fail to act upon.  I'm praying now for eyes to see how God might let me be more like Clotilde, Walner and Guetty, seeing needs and being His hands and feet in this world.  

The apostle Paul thought the message to the Galatians was so important that he should write it with his own hand...

So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to the household of faith.

Many thanks to you all for following along with this summer in Haiti.  Much love in Christ and thankfulness that we are walking together this life of faith and share realms of influence!  Jessie :)