Beauty

I've been thinking a lot over the past few days...  about the upcoming transition back to life in N.H., about the great disparities between life here and there, and then about how when you dig a little below the surface, things are really the same no matter where we go.  There is joy and rejoicing and hurt  and loss all around us.  There is sacrificial service and honesty which builds up cultures and deceit and greed which corrupt cultures.  There are individuals who bravely face days of hardship and need without knowing how their needs will be met or when their burdens will be lifted.  The feelings of excitement, happiness, anticipation, confusion, fear, anxiety, and anger are common to all of humanity.  Over the last few days I've had conversations with friends here in Haiti who shared great concerns over their future, their families, their cities, their country.  Then I have had emails and conversations with friends from home who share similar burdens.  It is my natural inclination to take on all of this and walk around with an ugly burden that I was never meant to carry.  As if me holding onto the hurts and questions of those I love will in any way make those hurts and questions any smaller!  My eyes see ugliness and brokenness and doubt and confusion and these all threaten to consume.



Last night I had a hard time sleeping.  Faces kept flooding to my mind.  Faces of dear sweet children who are growing up as orphans in an ever-shifting life where stability seems always out of reach.  Faces of Haitian friends who are battling with brokenness that seems unable to be mended.  Faces of missionaries who are struggling physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually... 

I prayed.  I cried out to God.  And then I tried again to rest.  I turned on a song that a dear friend gave to me recently.  It's written by a father who has experienced great loss.  Instead of dwelling on the circumstances, he sees through them to the greater story that our Heavenly Father is writing... A story of redemption and hope and joy and peace and beauty.  How I long to live a life that is focused on Christ and remember the beauty of His Story for us. As my eyes are fixed on Him, I can see the beauty in the story of today and I can remember that one day we will experience a life where:

All the cancer is gone

Every mouth is fed

And there's no one left in the orphans' bed

Every lonely heart finds their one true love

And there's no more goodbye

And no more not enough

And there's no more enemy

No more

Many thanks for following along with me and for being patient with me as I process!  I am keenly aware that grace is abundantly poured out on me in Christ and in the friends and family whom He has given to walk alongside me!  With much love in Christ, Jessie