Hungry

Tonight I made chili for dinner.  We had heaping bowlfuls of hearty, life-sustaining vegetables with savory flavors that make your mouth water.  

I cried as I made this meal.  As I sliced carrots and zucchini and minced garlic, I kept picturing Haitian sisters and mothers and daughters who do not have a nutritious meal to feed their families tonight.  I am like these women in so many ways.  I have fears and have known failures.  I have people I call family and love with intensity.  I have experienced simple joys of life - walking in the sunshine, laughing with friends, a hug of comfort in a moment of sadness.  But unlike these women, I don't know what it means to go through life uncertain where the next meal will come from.  I don't know what it is to look into the eyes of a hungry child and tell them there is nothing.  

Matthew 28 Feeding Program, 2018

Right now in Haiti there are an estimated 2.6 million people who are living with insecurity about where their next meal is coming from.  Drought and economic instability and civil unrest are all to blame.  There is a long legacy of unsustainable farming practices, corrupt government leadership, and lack of access to education which also complicate the situation in Haiti.  Natural disasters help to feed the circumstances which allow so many people to go without food.

This summer I am struggling with food.  If I'm being completely honest with myself, food is always a bit of a struggle.  In our culture of comfort and ease, there is so much packed into food.  It easily can become a source of emotional comfort or a source of guilt and shame.  When we have access to so much, it is easy for excess to become the norm.  And what's worse, it's excess without any sense of gratitude, any sense of the overwhelming blessing it is to know there will be food to eat the next time we are hungry.

All Matthew 28 Feeding Centers are run by local community leaders

In Ezekiel 16, the prophet is declaring God's judgment on His faithless people.  At one point, Ezekiel notes the parallels of sins in Israel and in Sodom, a place that would bring to mind great godlessness and depravity in the minds of the Israelites...

"...your younger sister, who lived to the south of you, is Sodom with her daughters. Not only did you walk in their ways and do according to their abominations; within a very little time you were more corrupt than they in all your ways. As I live, declares the Lord God, your sister Sodom and her daughters have not done as you and your daughters have done. Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy. They were haughty and did an abomination before me. So I removed them, when I saw it." (Ezekiel 16:46-50) 

I'm thinking a lot about the families in Haiti who are going hungry.  I want to help.  I want to find ways to lean in and love well.  I want to be Jesus' hands and feet to those in need.  And even though I can't be there in person this summer to help, God has opened a door to care for those in need...

The Apparent Project is a nonprofit organization which employs Haitian artisans in the hopes of preserving families by giving parents the dignity of reliable work. I will be hosting an Apparent Project fundraiser this summer. Half of the funds will be returned to the Haitian artisans at the Apparent Project.  The other half of the funds raised will go to the Matthew 28 Ministries in Bohoc, Haiti.  This ministry is in need of support for their feeding programs.  They serve about 25,000 meals a month and the need is increasing.  Given the growing food crisis in Haiti, it feels urgent to do what we can now to help... to be Christ's hands and feet and help those who are in need because we have known the great, saving help of God in our most desperate time of need.

If you are interested in buying any of the goods from the fundraiser, you can let me know.  You can also stop at the Newport Farmer's Market on Friday 7/12 from 3-6 and connect with me there!

Many thanks for caring, for reading, for praying, for giving.  Even though this summer isn't spent in Haiti, I find that my heart is still there and I'm thankful to be able to share it with you.
Love in Christ, Jessie

Broken

Port au Prince, 2011

I'm not sure if it's just me, but I've been observing brokenness lately.  Brokenness in relationships.  Brokenness in physical bodies.  Brokenness in troubled spirits and anxious minds.  Brokenness of failed hopes and crushed dreams.  Brokenness in corrupt and confused governments.  Brokenness in divided and suspicious people.  Some of this brokenness is close at hand.  I'm keenly aware of the brokenness of my own nature which is so easily ruled by fear and pride, selfishness and anxiety.  There are moments lately when the brokenness feels overwhelming and threatens to consume me.

Throughout this spring I have been eagerly planning for another summer in Haiti.  Plans were more scattered than in past years, but the expectation that this summer would be spent in Haiti was something I took for granted.  This would be my ninth summer in Haiti.  My ninth summer of returning to a place that has become like a home to me.  My ninth summer of reconnecting with missionary friends, working with Haitian teacher friends, and laughing with dear sweet children who are quickly becoming teenagers and young adults at this point.  My ninth summer of building bridges, of connecting my Haiti home with my New Hampshire home and seeing God's universal Church busy about the work of living out gospel love.

The little ones enjoying sugar cane, 2012

Then more brokenness came in the form of broken economics and civil unrest. One opportunity for service after another seemed to slip through our fingers as my teacher friend Sarah and I tried to make plans for ministry in Haiti this summer.  Missionaries were leaving Haiti or they felt uncertain about the safety of traveling in Haiti currently.  Civil unrest increased during the month of June as manifestations in the streets were fueled by information about more brokenness in the government. 

For me, in the midst of planning and expecting the gift of summer in Haiti, it was a time of frustration and confusion - a time of brokenness.  I kept questioning God.  I knew things were increasingly bad for my friends in Haiti.  I knew that my presence couldn't really change the bad they continue to experience.  But still, I wanted to be there, to enter into their suffering and let them know, you are not alone.  

After prayers and searching, Sarah and I finally determined that God was closing the door to our ministry in Haiti this summer. I continue to feel the brokenness of this situation. I am mourning the loss of time spent with dear friends.  I am feeling the brokenness of a loss of purpose found in ministering in that special place.  I am struggling to make sense of the pain and suffering being experienced in Haiti in comparison to the ease and comfort experienced in my life here.  

In the few weeks since we made this decision, I keep hearing bits and pieces of news from Haiti.  Missionary friends and faithful ministries send newsletters with heartbreaking updates. The United Nations update from June 17 notes that the cost of living in Haiti has increased 23% in the past year, putting more than 2.6 million Haitians in a situation where daily food is uncertain.  Those are 2.6 million mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, neighbors and friends, who are grappling with the persistent and increasing brokenness of hunger, of want, of uncertainty.

My friend, Hein, who directs the Matthew 28 Ministries in Bohoc, Haiti sent a very heartfelt plea to friends of the ministry explaining the desperation the people are feeling right now.  Each month Matthew 28 provides 25,000 meals to hungry children in the rural areas around Bohoc.  Because of the civil unrest, missionary and church groups are pulling out of Haiti and reinvesting their time and resources to other projects.  In the same breath, though, Hein speaks hope into the brokenness and shares the joys of attending the preschool graduation this spring.

Just today I got news that 2nd Story Goods, one of the nonprofits that works to provide Haitians with the opportunity for skill development and the dignity of consistent work, had to close the doors of their shop in Port au Prince due to a marked decrease in foreign visitors.  Even while they feel the loss of this opportunity in Port, the people at 2nd Story Goods speak words of hope and trust that God will open new doors for their organization to continue to support Haitian families.

Right now the civil unrest and economic crisis leave ministries and nonprofits in Haiti in an increasingly hard place. Even for those seeking to do good and love as Christ loves, still there is brokenness.

Wilderson, 2013

In moments when I am overwhelmed by the immensity of the brokenness of this world, I am reminded of the lessons of faith my Haitian friends have taught me.  There is something about the resiliency of a tried spirit which makes their faith so incredibly attractive.  I remember my first summer in Haiti and the feeling of awe at the faith, the true spiritual wealth, of people in this place.  

Their faith has feet and hands.  It is active.  

It leans into the most broken of circumstances in this life.  

It's the kind of faith that empowers a brokenhearted Mom to keep serving even after her child is crushed in an earthquake.  

It's the kind of faith that gives a young orphaned child the confidence to pray through their fears and sorrows.  

It's the kind of faith that strengthens teachers to care for the needs of children in desperate situations in the hopes of seeing them thrive.

It's the kind of faith that sings songs of praise through the night.  

It is this kind of faith that I have glimpsed in Haiti over and over again.  It is the lesson of God's goodness and the ways in which we are called to trust in Him. This is what I am recalling from my summers in Haiti. It is the reminder that even in the brokenness we see glimpses of God's restoration at work. 

Just as God gave Jeremiah a vision of restoration after the devastation of exile, so too God's word reminds us that no matter what brokenness we walk through, He is faithful, and we can join the voices of those who await the fullness of His restoration...

“Give thanks to the Lord of hosts,

    for the Lord is good,

    for his steadfast love endures forever!"

~Jeremiah 33:11

Sunset over Port au Prince, 2017

Thank you for following along with me on this unexpected summer far from Haiti.  Thank you for praying with me for Haiti.  Love in Christ, Jessie

Watch

The children at Matthew 28 Ministries playing soccer in the rain

---

"Did you see?  Did you watch?"  Berlinda asked in enthusiastic and rushed Creole.

During one of the evenings spent in Bohoc, I got to go with the children from Matthew 28 to watch them play in a community soccer match.  If you're not already aware of this, much of the world, including Haiti, views soccer (football) as the best sport ever created.  During the World Cup this summer much of Haiti would shut down so that people could lose themselves in the excitement of a match.

I'm afraid that I don't have pictures from the soccer match the kids played on the community fields, but it was a pretty wonderful experience.  There were houses surrounding the field and neighbors all came out to watch the children play.  It reminded me strongly of going to watch my students play soccer each fall - it seems like the whole town turns up to watch and socialize and enjoy the quiet and simplicity of life in the country.

It was a really good game and the kids played very hard.  Berlinda was one of only two girls on the team, which is a position that she most certainly has earned.  She is one tough little girl!  

When we made it back to Matthew 28, Berlinda ran up to Hein and myself and wanted to know if we had seen her.  She asked me first and then asked Hein, her Papa.  "Papa, did you see?  Did you watch me?"  He nodded and smiled and reassured her that he was very proud of her playing.  There was such a smile on her face as she ran away - beaming that her "Papa" had seen her.

As I think about this summer in Haiti, there were many moments when life seemed full of uncertainty - uncertainties for myself and my family and for the Haitian friends that I have come to love.  There were many mornings I spent crying out to God as a weak and faith-shaken child and asked, "Did you see?  Did you watch?"  In the midst of the brokenness and hurt of this life, I am so often just like little Berlinda.  I want to know that He is seeing, that He is watching.  

As I transition back to life in New Hampshire and look forward to the end of summer and the start of a new school year, I'm praying for faith to trust that our Father is who He says He is, that even in the midst of uncertainty, I can be a child who rests securely in the truth that He is a Father who sees, who watches...

---

Romans 8

...For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first-fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long, we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, 

nor angels nor rulers, 

nor things present nor things to come, 

nor powers, 

nor height nor depth, 

nor anything else in all creation, 

will be able to separate us from the love of God 

in Christ Jesus our Lord.

---

Berlinda watching as the older boys do maintenance on the soccer field

Many thanks for following along with me on this summer in Haiti!  I'm so thankful for the words of encouragement, the prayers, and the physical support of my friends and family and church family.  You all make the privilege of spending summers in Haiti that much sweeter because I get to share it with you!  Much love and thankfulness in Christ, Jessie

Center

Food is a gift.  It is a privilege.  I don't think I really reflected on the sheer abundance of food I've known as a norm until I went to Haiti for the first time.  Growing up, our house was always full of the smells of my Mom's cooking - breakfast to give us energy to start the day, lunches packed with health, and hearty dinners shared around the family table.  


But even here in the states, with all of our abundance, I have seen glimpses of want, of lack... I've spent a year volunteering weekly at a soup kitchen in Salem, Massachusetts.  There I got to know the faces of people who regularly come for a warm meal to sustain and good company to ease their troubled minds.  

I've been a teacher to the rural poor.  I've had students who visited the food pantry in the nurse's office each Friday to get enough food to last until Monday when they could return to school and the promise of breakfast and lunch served on cafeteria trays.  

These glimpses of need here in the states are troubling and challenge me to action. My time in Haiti has sent me even deeper into the mind of hunger, to see the ugliness of lack, and to question how we as the body of Christ are called to respond.

 This summer's visit to Bohoc gave me the opportunity to see all the different parts of the Matthew 28 Ministry.  It was started with a simple mission - "To spread the gospel of Jesus Christ by feeding hungry children and caring for orphans."  There are some troubling statistics about childhood mortality in Haiti which is due in part to the lack of access to reliable and nourishing food for growing children.  The Matthew 28 Ministry has a straight-forward approach to hunger, to lack, to need.  They use their resources to support feeding centers.  The Matthew 28 Ministry buys the food and then finds Haitian community leaders - pastors and teachers - who will commit to cook and serve 5 meals a week to 50 nearby children.  As of right now there are 19 feeding centers in the rural communities around the Central Plateau that are providing for the needs of children in their neighborhoods.  

I was so thankful to be able to visit one of the feeding centers and to be reminded of the centrality of this simple gospel mission - provide bread for life as you share the Bread of Life.  I'm hopeful that the pictures below will tell you the story of the feeding centers and the ways that these little bodies and souls are nourished during their time there.

Lofted food storage to keep the rice safe from rats...

 

The children come to the feeding centers "armed" with their own spoons!

"Grandma" cooking rice for the children at the feeding center

 

Latrine

So you know when sometimes you've just got to...go?  

Indoor plumbing is a luxury that much of the world has no daily access to.  Running water and the supplies needed for a flushing toilet are just not available to many people all around the world.  While in Bohoc, I experienced what life is like with the reality of latrines.  Honestly, it was a relief to find that a dug hole in the ground serves as a perfectly simple solution to the problem of human waste.  

Additionally, I found that the gravity-fed outdoor showers work quite well, and also provide some pretty beautiful views!  

So, while things like bathroom use and showering may be a little silly to write about, I just had to celebrate the ways in which cultures without access to all of our "modern conveniences" have simple and workable solutions to daily needs.  It makes me wonder how many of these supposed conveniences aren't actually taking away from a more simple, more beautiful life experience.

Translate

There are very few English speakers in Bohoc.  As you would expect, the countryside has fewer opportunities to learn foreign languages. Additionally, in the countryside there are fewer foreigners who would benefit from translators, so language skills are not as meaningful work skills as they are in the city.

Being from the countryside, the teachers at Ekol Espwa Etenel are not fluent English speakers.  What's more, the philosophy of respect for the Haitian culture that permeates all aspects of the Matthew 28 Ministries, highly values the Creole language.  For me, this meant providing our weeks of teacher training in Creole.  Unfortunately, while I've learned a fair amount about this beautiful language over the years, I am not nearly fluent enough to teach in Creole.  Hein kindly hired a translator to come to teacher training to help make sure all of the content was accessible to the Haitian teachers.

Johnsey proved to be more than a translator - he was a friend and a co-teacher during the time in Bohoc.  I'm so thankful for the ways that Johnsey helped me convey words and meaning most effectively to the Haitian teachers.  The process of translating isn't just about knowing the one-to-one correspondence of words in different languages; it's about understanding how to convey meaning.  Johnsey would often ask clarifying questions of me before translating content to the teachers, wanting to make sure that the deeper meaning of my words would be clear to the audience.  He was also a really gracious teacher of Creole for me - letting me try to understand comments and only clarifying meaning when I asked questions.  Honestly, the depth of conversation and (hopefully) meaningful learning that we did together with the Haitian teachers would not have been possible without Johnsey.

This year I'm going to keep plugging away with my Creole learning, which is tricky to do in rural New Hampshire... But while I seek to be a more skilled communicator with my Haitian friends, I'm also thanking God for the ways He provides people with skills and servant-mindedness, like my translator and friend Johnsey.

Rescue

Tough, funny, determined and a bit mischievous... That is what you'll infer about the temperament of Judelove after about two minutes of interacting with her.  She is one of the children who call Matthew 28 Ministries their home.  Left at the gate as an infant, Judelove's family history is a bit of a mystery.  Along with the rest of the children and teens at Matthew 28, Judelove is growing up being well cared for by nannies and staff.  Like all the other children, she calls the missionary Hein "Papa" and knows sweet fatherly care from him.  At Matthew 28 Judelove has meals and medical care provided for her.  She is being taught the truths of the Bible and joins in the nightly devotionals - singing and praying each night with the rest of her Matthew 28 family.  Surely, in this special place, Judelove is learning about God's great "rescue plan", as Sally Lloyd Jones puts it in The Jesus Storybook Bible.  

Judelove has lived out her own story of rescue that mirrors so beautifully God's mission to save those who are lost...

In the not too distant past, Judelove was kidnapped.  She was walking with some of the other children on the quiet country roads of Bohoc between school and home when a moto pulled up and the people grabbed her and sped away.  As is true with much of rural Haiti, there is no real police presence in Bohoc.  The Haitian staff called Hein, who was in the states at the time, to let him know what had happened.  Very quickly Hein made his way to Haiti and the search for Judelove began in earnest.  

The different pieces that fell into place in this rescue mission are pretty remarkable - Hein's determination and connections proved invaluable.  There were friends in the police force who were willing to work in an "unofficial capacity" and rumors that were passed along to just the right people at the right time.  In the end, after what seemed like a completely impossible mission, Judelove was found in the overcrowded city of Port au Prince safe and sound.  It seems that members of her biological family who had abandoned her at Matthew 28 as a baby had determined to sell her as a restavek, a child slave, now that she was old enough to bring a good price.  There was no official justice sought against those who attempted this unspeakable evil, but the police friends made it clear, on threat of death, that no threats would be made against Judelove's safety or freedom again.

Hein was with Judelove on the ride home from Port au Prince back to Bohoc.  He said he spoke to her quietly, her papa trying to reassure her that she was safe - she was rescued.  

After I learned more about Judelove's story, I was struck by such powerful feelings...
  

Outrage that the family who was meant to care for and protect this remarkable little life would view it only as something to feed their own greed.  

Thankfulness that Hein and the rest of the Matthew 28 Ministry folks have made sure to create a place where orphans know the love of family as God designed it.  

Gratitude for the reminder of God, our heavenly Father, who rescues His own children with the same determination that Hein demonstrated in the rescue of Judelove.

~

As I continue to process through this summer in Haiti, I'm so thankful for my own friends and family who have loved me so well and pointed me back to the rescuing hope we have in Christ!  Thank you for following along with this summer's journey in Haiti!  Love in Christ, Jessie

Coffee

There are a lot of foods and drinks that I only have when I'm in Haiti.  I enjoy tropical fruits that taste so much better - sweeter and fresher - than the imports we can find in New Hampshire.  The flavors of Haitian mangoes and pineapple, melons and kenep make my mouth water!  Then there are the Haitian dishes that are delicious and unlike any of my familiar foods from back home.  Favorite Haitian treats include: warm, fried sweet plantains, the spicy slaw pikliz, creamy pumpkin soup joumou, savory vegetable mash legim, and the sweet hot cereal labouyi. 

While most Haitian food makes my taste buds happy, I think the flavor that I savor and miss the most is Haitian coffee.  I've been unable to replicate the taste of Haitian coffee when I'm back home, even if I manage to get my hands on some Haitian coffee beans.

The weeks in Bohoc introduced me to a dear sweet woman, Marita, who faithfully prepared delicious meals each day and also kindly prepared me coffee each morning.  When Hein explained the process of how coffee is roasted in the Haitian countryside, I understood better why it is so difficult to replicate.  It also gave me a greater appreciation for each delicious cup because of the effort that went into making it

The process begins with a carob pod (think molasses) which is wrapped in banana leaves and roasted until it's charred.  Then the green coffee beans are added and roasted until it's kind of a big caramelized mess.  Then mortar and pestle are used to create a fine ground powder which is often brewed in percolators over open fires.  

So, as I enjoy the luxury of a cup of coffee, I can't help but think of all the work that went into this cup.  As often happens when I'm in Haiti, my heart is opened to each gift - reminded to be thankful and to recognize the Giver of all good things... whether that's laughter shared with a friend, the gift of a new day, or a warm, creamy cup of coffee.

Many thanks for following along on this summer in Haiti!  Love in Christ, Jessie

Meander

One highlight of each day in Bohoc was the walk from the children's home to the school.  I love to meander through wild places, and I have so needed to stretch my legs after the first few weeks of summer spent in the confines of the city.

These are the views of God's beautiful creation in Haiti.  It makes my heart sad how often the only views of this island paradise that the outside world views are scenes of devastation and brokenness.  I hope you'll savor these images and glimpse the majesty and wonder of our Creator God on display in this special little corner of the world.

The heavens declare the glory of God,

and the sky above proclaims his handiwork...

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